The last 10 pounds

weight scale measuring tapeMy goal was to get to 110 pounds. I have 10 pounds to go. The question is, why are these 10 pounds so important?

I love my body now. I love what I can do. I love my new clothes. I feel so good! So, are these “last 10” vanity pounds, an insurance policy against bad weeks and holidays, or are they necessary?

I’m struggling with this. Tom says I look great and doesn’t think I need to stay on my restrictions so religiously. His point is that it is time to make the transition to what typical would look like. The challenge I have is that I really blew it for the 5 days surrounding my birthday and grew 2 pounds (the scale told me this morning that a few days of back to the program pulled those birthday pounds off – win!). Now, really blowing it is that instead of my 1150 calories per day, I was in the 1300 – 1500 range. I didn’t change my exercise routine. This scares me, I could balloon back with just 150 calories more per day.  On the other hand, within 5 days, that little jump on the scale was in the past.

110 goal weight was not arbitrary. If you look at the ideal weight calculator for optimal weight at my age, height and bone structure it is about 108. I could be as low as 93 (say hello to me at 17 when everyone thought I was anorexic even as I ate whole boxes of Kraft Mac n Cheese, Hogies and broccoli covered in so much cheddar cheese sauce I never tasted the broccoli) and as high as 123 (last month). I liked how I looked at 115 and at first this is where I targeted for the end goal. But, to have 5 pounds as insurance seemed a good policy and ultimately put me in the range of those expert calculators.

Well, we all know my obsession with numbers and data. That 110 number is just out there and rationalized against science. But, our bodies don’t always fit science. Look at BMI. It’s being debunked constantly. And, how much muscle do I have? That weighs more than fat. It must, I’m in clothes I wore when I was at 105 pounds and I’m 15 pounds heavier. How is that? It has to be the shape of my body more than the weight.

You can see where I’m going with this. Do I focus on how I feel and fit in my clothes? Or, stay focused on the scale? Every fitness, health and diet site/blog/program says at some point its not about the scale. I’m feeling like I’m kind of at that point. Can I give up on the number?

Maybe if I’m asking and fretting this too much I’m not ready. It’s too soon and right now the scale is my honesty buddy. Until I can hold my results or tick down slowly toward my goal (1/2 pound per week vs. 1 – 1/2 pounds per week) this is not even something to entertain.

Decisions, decisions.